When a close person changes, it hurts like hell. Not lovers, but they can be friends, more than friends, or just a beautiful relation without any name. You know, the problem is that these people are just too close to you for you to not notice when they change. And when things start to change all of a sudden, your heart sinks. You feel totally cheated and helpless. You can't cry like a heartbroken lover. But your soul screams in its silent pain. It affects you deeply. You start to become restless and rude. You can't tell anyone because no one would understand the gravity of your loss, the suffocation. They will say 'as if your lover left you, lol, chill.' But how can you chill when your souls felt the warmth in each other's shadow? How can you let it go when it was one strong pillar of your life? How can you move on when you had so many dreams with that person? How can it not affect you when you closed your eyes and prayed for that person?
Not all relationships need 'I love you' to be special. Some people are just too special, and no one else would understand that. You have spent too many special moments for it be just like a passing friendship. It has that charm, that honesty, and that realness that's so rare these days. So when that person chooses to make a special bond an ordinary name on the phonebook, it rips your soul apart. How can you let it become ordinary? How can you just live your life without me being a part of it? How can you stop telling me everything that happens in your life? How can you stop asking me whether I am fine as you saw a sad post from me? How can you not call me to tell me a stupid thing that happened with your relatives? How can you not tell me what your mom taunted you with today? How can you not tell me how you took my name while talking to another person because you are so used to say my name? How? How can you change that? We promised, na. We promised that we will stay the same, always. Then what happened? How can you break my heart and act as if nothing happened? I feel so, so bad, you know. How can you? How?
It hasn't rained yet you feel the cold running down your spine. Your heart rate is beyond normal. Your can not explain what has happened to you suddenly but you are not normal. Your appetite is gone. You zeal is dead. What else will keep you going if all this is but lost. You have a life to live yet you feel you have no purpose to live for. Had you stopped taking your eye to that direction, you could not have been in this mess. The dream that you have always woke from is now a reality that you can not run from. Where is your heart? Is it gone with your thoughts? Are you sick of the emotions you sort? Hope time will heal you. And if you die before then, may you forgive yourself.
~APEK INC